Hi everyone. Maria Ciampa here. Jess Sutich invited me to post a story and I took that invitation seriously.

I’ve talked some homeless people in my life, some good conversations, some not.

Here’s the story of the best conversation with a hobo ever.

One night after the bars closed my sister and I were walking to the car.  This really skinny Asian homeless guy with an Asian accent asked us for food. I was delighted at this chance encounter with an outlier in the homeless population.   He was such a unique home-challenged in so many ways: his race, his thick accent, and most of all his puzzling request for food (and not money for booze).

We did not have any food on us, but this was when my sister was way into the Slim Fast craze, and she had a shake in her huge purse. She pulled it out and was like, “I don’t have any food, but I have a Slim Fast, guy, and they’re like TOTALLY filling, ok?”

And Skinny Asian Hobo, with full warrior accent, was like, “Slim Fast? SLIM FAST? Look at me! I don’t need slim fast? I need FAT QUICK!”

And we were like, “Holy fuck, Asian Hobo, that was hilarious.”

And that was the night my sister and I had a pizza party with a very thin Asian homeless man that should have been a writer for Leno.

Love,
Maria

PS. Want to hear more stories about my fascinating life?  Give me a topic in the comments section, and I’ll share away.